He was: Ryan, a 22 year-old tele-salesman.
He had: short blond hair gelled-up, with large dark eyes, a slim toned body that was well dressed and measuring in at around 5ft7.
I was nervous.
Ryan claimed he was looking for dates and more, maybe some fun, but with someone he knew- not NSA.
Before I start can I just say that leaving for this date had my whole family in a puzzle. I’m not really the guy with an active social life, so the idea of me meeting old college friends for a drink (not ready to tell them I’ve started dating) had them full of questions. I will need a solution for this in the future, perhaps I can join a figurative club or something. Anyways back to Ryan.
I was first to arrive at our meeting point, something that I try to avoid. So I had the awkward pleasure of seeing him walk towards me.
I have to say I was a little shocked. He was much more attractive in person. He had a slow confident walk, and met me with a weak handshake, no nerves detected.
Ryan actually asked me before we met what I was wearing to make sure we were on the same wavelength, which I thought was very practical and bold of him- he’s clearly a well versed dater. We both went for the smart-casual look.
We chose to go to a rather emptied place called La Rue, I did originally protest that I wanted to go to a Wheterspoons (the sort of the McDonald’s of the English Pub chains), but he was having none of it- he was etching for some class. But I find the hustle and bustle of a ‘spoons can somehow ease the pressure of the whole first date. Nonetheless La Rue it was.
In a small corner table with a coke by my side(I have no qualms about ordering a child’s drink on an adult date), underneath a low hanging light- that seemed more like the lights used in a James Bond integration- our date commenced.
The conversation flowed easily, we were soon debating the likes of Gaga, Perry and Minaj. I was actually really enjoying myself. There were none of those dreaded awkward silences.
I was worried about how was coming across as I’m a little unorthodox, I also kept accidentally swearing and I don’t think he used a foul word all night, it made me look tacky. He seemed fine with me though and laughed at all my jokes.
A bad topic
We did hit a rather awkward bone of contention though. We started talking about transgendered individuals.
Something you need to know about me:
Transgenderism is something very close to my heart. Not because I’m struggling with my gender identity – I love having a penis- but I did my dissertation on the social perception towards individuals who experiment with their gender. And made some great friends who are apart of these groups so now I’m very protective over them and others in the community.
However he had a rather dated opinion of it all. Starting sentences with “I don’t mind…” As if to suggest there is an issue, but don’t worry because he doesn’t mind, or that maybe he does mind, but just a little.
He went onto say that although he’s fine with it (so sweet) sometimes he finds some of the older “men in wigs” as he described them a little scary in gay nightclubs. Just to clarify we weren’t talking about Drag Queens that are instantly recognisable by their coined over-the-top look; we were talking about genuine people who wear a bit of make-up, heels, a wig (most likely) and are probably struggling with their gender-expression.
To me these individuals have probably grown up battling with depression and suicidal thoughts daily. And when they stand by the bar, looking apparently unconvincing and ‘scary’ it’s actually a mark of true courage that takes a lot of strength. I see them as modern day heroes, and here I was sitting next to a guy who could just about bare them. So I was a little annoyed, but I kept that to myself.
The great escape
So to further add to my belief that he was a pro-dater he had fantastic technique of saying ‘let’s go’. When he had the chance he slipped in “I’m just going to use the toilet before we leave.” This was the perfect indication that he wanted to go. Not only did he get to check himself out in the mirror but he let me know that my time was up, without actually saying anything awkward to me.
Then things got a little weird.Well for me.
An strange goodbye
As we left we walked straight towards his car,which was a good five minute walk. I was expecting a goodbye as we left the bar, but this guy took my right to his car. It was I who stopped a few feet from it, and awkwardly started the goodbye ceremony, which I think surprised him. Was he expecting me to get in his car and go back to his, without any discussion? Or was I simply walking him to his car?
He knew I didn’t drive and said that he’d be happy to give me a lift back, which I thought was sweet, but I brought my bike. He then asked if I like to be dropped off at my bike as it was a good walk away, but i declined again.
I felt a little pressured to get in the car. Despite having a great date, we weren’t flirty at all, although he did state earlier that he was not good with the whole ‘public display of affection’, we spoke more like two camp heteros.
Was he waiting to get me in the car to show me his darker side? Was there even a darker side to show? I was so confused.
On reflection though he might be saying that he’s looking for more than NSA but his user name on Grindr is a down arrow to indicate he’s a bottom and the fact I met him on Grindr… But surely he would say something like ‘want to come back to mine?’ Or was he saving that for the car too? I have no idea.
Anyway I hugged him goodbye, apologised for the awkward goodbye – it was awkward, he laughed and then he told me to text him when I got home.
But before I could on my walk back to my bike I received a text from Ryan saying that he had a great time and love to meet again soon, to walk me round a local lake that we spoke of and a drink after, which to me is edging on the romantic side of things. So we will see.
I already have another guy keen for a date tomorrow night, a well-built, handsome 6ft.4 South-Asian, but I’m not sure if I will be able to pull the wool over my family’s eyes again so soon. And as I write this blog I got a text from an attractive rugby-type that I’ve been chatting to for a few days, who now has offered to pay the taxi ride to his tonight for a bit of wink-wink (he’s drunk) then drive me back tomorrow when he’s sober..I declined as I’m –in the nicest way- not fit for action and also he could be a murder or something. I need a first date drink before any action. So a lot to come I think.
As for today’s date, being new to the dating scene I’m not really sure what classifies a good date, as I don’t have much to compare it with. But we spoke none-stop, made each other laugh and 10 minutes after the first date, made plans for another. So to me, all was well. But the whole car thing has me questioning his motives and if I can actually do this whole sex with strangers. I just feel like I need to break in my NSA-boots in.
Oh and I brought one round of drinks, making it a £5 date.
jamesquinn1994 